keropidark

Where Are You?

2011-12-06T05:36:00.001-08:00

So yes, admittedly I have been....well, lost? Not sure if lost is the proper word. I mean, I know where I am but, OK, I do not know where my mind is. I've been in my funk. I ranted and raved and deleted and re-wrote, only to delete again...I'm just a mess. All the stresses associated with work and commuting have gotten to me.

Finally, yesterday I exercised. What a difference! I suppose I should really attempt to do this everyday.

That is all for now, pretend my exit of this post is the melody of one of my favorite songs....
I'm just a soul who's intentions are good, oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstood.

F your couch,
Keropi Dark

Bears (Well Sort Of)

2011-11-23T09:13:00.001-08:00

I'm having a lot of trouble with the sugar cookie dough lately. It just does not keep its shape. For this project, I had to cut the cookie after it baked.

Anyways, it is just a simple recipe. I topped it with melted chocolate and mini M&M's for eyes.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Published

2011-11-11T10:47:00.001-08:00

I did it. I published my book to kindle. It will be released tomorrow and I am super nervous. Writing has always been second nature to me. I love it and I feel that I can express myself pretty well. Truth is, with this project, I used a risky concept. I stepped outside my comfort zone and published something that is not typically my style.

I hope it works.

The book is called "How to be Proficient, Even If You Are Not Keropi Dark"

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Monster Cupcakes

2011-10-31T07:30:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share my latest cupcake project. I made these for Halloween.

Yummy

2011-10-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have completed my first cupcake experiment. I also had enough batter left to make a 2 layer cake. I went all out with an idea to use fondant along with regular butter cream icing. The process stretched over 2 days. All and all, I consider it a success.

The first day- Preparation

I used this day to make the marshmallow fondant. I don't know if any of you know this but heated marshmallows are damn sticky. From beginner's mis-experience, I learned that you should place a handful of powdered sugar at the bottom of the bowl prior to melting the marshmallows on top. Also, don't bother with a mixing spoon. Just use your hands. There is no way around it; it's going to be messy so have fun.

The fondant had to settle in the refrigerator for 8 hours once it is initially prepared. That is why I say the process took 2 days. I also used this day to bake the cupcakes and the cake. I was contemplating about waiting 'til day 2 but then I remembered the items will need to be cooled prior to decorating.

The second day- Decoration

This day was easier as everything was pretty much prepared. The only thing I had to do was add color to my fondant and make the shapes. One word of caution, food coloring has a tricky way of sneaking into everything. If you don't want to contaminate you colors, be very careful. Wash your hands, roller, and everything else that was used between every batch. Also, make the lightest colors first and work your way to dark.

Another thing I learned on this day was that I do not like the cheap methods of making a piping bag. I tried with parchment paper but it fell apart. I tried with a Ziploc bag but the shaping tip did not want to stay on. Needless to say, I had frosting everywhere. I have my eye on a professional dessert decorator for my next project. It's plastic and any standard tip can fit on it. There is no squeezing all you do is pump the frosting out.

So check out my pictures. The project puts me at peace because I've been searching for a way to show my friends I care. My desserts may not be the prettiest but if you go by the taste, you can tell I love you.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

This was some major yummy :)

This was the cake.

Will You Be My Cupcake?

2011-10-26T08:02:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had an epiphany? Suddenly something hit me and it told me to make cupcakes. I don't really want to eat them but I would enjoy making them; at least that is what I told myself yesterday when the feeling struck me.

So today I Googled "cupcake" and I was amazed. There are so many that are awesomely designed. It lead me to think the possibilities are endless. What if I became good at making these little mini creations? What if I could make someone smile at the sight of my cupcakes?

Have you every been driven by something out to the ordinary? Did you follow it or ignore?

I will be going to the craft store today to pick up pans and supplies. I will also begin baking at the end of this week. I'm going to try to be diligent about pictures so I can give the step by step details.

Wish me luck.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Right Ain't Right

2011-10-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been having a lot of conflict between right and wrong. I know that doing the wrong thing is meant to be more enticing. It is a trick to capture the weak minded. I get it. But why does it seem like everyone around me that is doing wrong is either succeeding or just as equal as me?

For instance, I am a manager at my job. Managers do not have to clock in since we are considered salary. I use the term salary loosely because we are still expected to work 40 hours and keep a schedule of 8a-5p M-F. In my head, salary should mean you are there until all the tasks are done. When they are finished, you go home.

Anyways, there is this other manager that routinly sneaks in at 9 and shuts her door for an hour to do her hair and make-up. When the her door finally opens, she goes to the breakroom and eats breakfast and prepares a cup of coffee. How am I to feel about that when he get's paid the same amount as me and does not get repromanded? How are her subordants supposed to feel that she is paid more than them and does less work? Oh and her boss, my boss as well, is aware.

That same boss recently told me I have to learn to sacrifice more for my company. This was after I got in trouble for taking the day off for having my wisdom teeth removed. I drive 33 miles to work and 33 miles back home everyday. That's not enough sacrifice for you?

It's just a crock. I have observed to get more recognition, one should socialize with the higher ups. You can go very far if you drink the champagne spiked orange juice with them on a company trip. They can be easily manipulated by anyone who befriends them. This might come back to bite me in the ass but I really don't care. Consistanly doing the right thing isn't always right.

There is a part of me that feels bad for the hospitality my company has given me. Then there is the other part of me that has viewed too many movies and how the rebel always wins.

Pissed off,
Keropi Dark

What the Pot?

2011-07-22T10:59:00.001-07:00

Ok; so, all throughout this blog there are confessions of me just not understanding. Here is another one. What is up with Harry Potter? I wish I could say I have joined the wizard band wagon but to the contrary, I have not. I haven't even seen the very first movie, nor read a single paragraph in the book. In addition, I often confuse the Pot with The Lord of the Rings. I'm aware they are totally different but.....let's put it this way: to a vegan, a piece of chicken is the same as a piece of beef, disgusting and uneatable. By the way am not a vegan, I just like to use hyperbole to paint mental pictures. Deprive me of my meat, especially bacon, and I am a cranky woman. Mmmmmmm, baaaaaacoooooonn!

Anyways, speaking of series, I am still working on my 2 books. 3 if you count the one that remains floating in my head. You know, the one that hasn't made it's way out of my fingers, onto the keyboard, and saved as a Pages document yet. I have made it a point to study all kinds of literature to keep my juices flowing. In order to write a book, I feel you have to be able to read a book. Tucked away in my night stand drawer is The Greatest Thing In The World by Henry Drummond. Can't believe something written in 1890 could still be so good.

Maybe that's how many feel about Harry Potter (???)

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

A Job's Presentation

2011-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty stoked since my husband showed me this video. Say what you will but I believe Mr. Job's to be a very savvy business man. Last year, I marveled at his letter about his thoughts on Flash. I thought the man to be articulate as well as in your face with self-earned cockiness. One cannot disagree, he has a right to passage so wide that it wraps around the earth at least twice. It showed me that one should never settle for anything less and if someone tries to call out your name, using smart diplomacy with a twist of smart aleck can go a long way.

Take some time to watch this video. The tech blogs are booming with hypothesis of a secret alien warehouse under the proposed campus. I freaking love it! I admire this style of presentation and respect Mr. Jobs even more for providing easy to understand facts and diagrams. I am wondering if I can imitate his methods in other aspects in my life.

Hmmmm.....a personal day spa and monkey butlers at my house......

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

2011-05-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

My current ponder has been this phenomena of Extreme Couponing. During the course of 4 weeks, I have gotten sucked into the rapture. Somehow, my house has accumulated enough razors to last 2 years and body wash for my family to last 6 months. I have to say it is a very fun hobby. Perhaps it's the thrill of the hunt or just the method of organization associated with collecting the coupons that drives me. Needless to say, I am driving my husband crazy.

I've been keeping a spreadsheet of total out of pocket vs. total saved. So far, within 1 month's time, I have saved $286.

Does anyone have any similar stories?

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Nerding Has Come to a Halt

2011-02-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

I am stuck. I have not been nerding around as much as I used to. I blame it on the universe. I mean, I was going to post about how Yellow Pages has finally allowed opt out for paperback phone books (apparently they are tying to be greener). I was going to submit a correlation of dying breeds, such as YP; however, days went by and the chance was missed. Then, I was going to post about how much I love the show Big Bang, but it's on season 4 so that would've made me look slow and not up to speed with pop culture. Lastly, I wanted to attempt an explanation of how make-up is slowing the progression of evolution in regards to beauty, but I've screamed that all too many times and it's starting to get boring.

So sadly, my nerding had come to a halt :(

Has anyone else ever gone through this slump? It truly is depressing. Have I changed into a person who enjoys the outdoors more than her computer? Where the perimeters of her back yard seem far greater than the eco space of the world wide web? What am I to do?

Stay tuned.......

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Love Bug Stuck

2010-12-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

As you know, I have quite a wild imagination. I function as a quiet and normal person on the outside but on the inside, it is indeed a circus. Perhaps that is why I keep my mouth shut most of the time for fear of a clown shoe falling out.

Anyways, for several years, I've related couples to love bugs. This stems far back to my childhood when me and my best friend used to do our annual bug collecting. There was so much fascination to it. You can see an entire social system of bad decisions from these bugs. There were single bugs that seemed to only bother other single bugs. There were attached couples had only one bug alive. There were attached couples that tried to go in two different directions at once ultimately ripping their abdomens apart. There were even some that flew right into spiders nests.

At that moment in my life, I was really able see the dynamics of how these bugs interacted together. I told myself, if I ever find a mate when I grew up, I was going to find a smart love bug to be stuck with. By that I meant, one that was not going to lead me into spider webs or car windshields, one that would not yank me around, one that would not suddenly un-attac

h themselves from me, and one that would not put his arms around other bugs.

So to bring this story to present time, I hold my boyfriend's hand as we walk around various stores and I feel safe. I am proudly attached to him. I say, "Love bug I'm stuck to you," and he thinks it cute, not knowing the full story behind it.

Hope that warmed your heart.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Waste Not; Want Not

2010-06-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

So I came across this photo today, compliments of Gizmodo. It got me thinking a lot about waste.

Waste, to me, is a terrible word which stretches far beyond the tangible garbage sense. It creeps into our everyday functions and even into our self-esteem. One does not want to waste their life. One does not want to waste their time. In addition, one does not want to waste their feelings on people who do not care. No matter how you put it, "waste" never comes out right.

So what can we do to up the ante? Well, that my friends has been the long lost answer. I've been asking that question and posted my first theory on potential: the anti-waste, in 2008. Trust me when I say, I have not just been dilly-dallying around for 2 years. Some of the most remarkable experiences in my life have occurred during this period, and it all came by taking a chance. However, to this day, a clear systematic explanation has not been found. To me, the conclusion has been made that there is no solitary method to eliminate the sense of wastefulness . Everyone's experiences must be different. Everyone must look within their selves and ask, do I want more and how can I do it.

I encourage this picture to be forwarded as more than just a reminder about the environment. Push the image and remind people that waste, in any form of the term, is not wanted. We are creatures of God and creatures of influence. Let's not forget that.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Spoiler Alert: SATC 2 Sux!

2010-06-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

I have to do it. I am going to give away the movie. I'm going to cut to the chase and tell you the entire plot. I'm just so disgusted I don't know where to start. Should it be at the part where Samantha is arrested for public fornication in a country that holds a strong tradition of chastity? Oh, it was just "kissing"? Did she not grab the guy's crotch in front of everyone? Did he not untie her dress in the plaza? Maybe I should begin by talking about how, in a country where all the women wear burka's, these hoochies are parading around with their thighs and tatas out. Oh course, there is some curious comedy about how the lady in the burka will eat when her mouth is covered. I am still unsure if this was the movie's way of being charming or if it was more of a disrespectful foreshadow to the rest.

Ok, let's pause here. Sex And The City has always been about style and opulence. I get why the movie was casted in Abu Dhabi in a luxury hotel that was 22k per night. And yes, me of all people have took dating advice from the series and fell in love over the past 12 years. Yes, I have watched each episode at least 3-4 times each and the movie at least 5. But to sum it all folks, the sequel is crap! The sequel makes me question the entire show's existence. What have I been feeding my head all these years? You get nothing but a rotten tomato from me.

Well continuing with the plot, because of Samantha's arrest, the host of their free vacation cut the cord. They have to leave immediately back to the US...however, as always, one of the girls had their head in the clouds and lost their passport. Mind you I say clouds when I could substitute it for something much worst. Fast forwarding, they go to the marketplace and find her passport. During the scene, a man thinks that Samantha stole one of his purses that he was selling. He grabs her purse and in defense she grabs it back. This ultimately breaks the purse and condoms go flying everywhere. The market place crowd begins to uproar because traditionally, the culture is about sanctity and women are not to elude to sexual deviance.

Now granted, people have the right to carry condoms and the exposure of them was by accident. But Samantha's shouting of multiple F yous to all the spectators and giving the middle finger was the point were I draw the line. She felt entitled to act as she pleased with little respect to the native customs; even though she was a visitor to that country. Despite that, one of the women still finds time to shop all while hiding from the angry mob. Lastly, the movie wraps with Samantha happily back in America and still having sex in public while red, white, and blue fireworks shoot off into the sky.

Now this post is getting very long and I would like to put the fact that I wasted 2 hours and 45 minutes of my day behind me. My last words are conclusively directed to Sarah, Cynthia, Kim, and Kristin. There is no way, no matter how much money was received, that would I participate in that scene. Don't you know how blatantly offensive it was to Middle Eastern people? Viewers of the series have dedicated over a decade to the show and this is the stunt that's pulled? SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Save A Cloud; Free The Data!

2010-06-03T13:51:00.001-07:00

There has been a lot of talk this morning and frankly it got my panties in a tight bunch, too. With AT&T's halt of unlimited data streaming through 3G to new customers, many cloud computing based sectors are running scared. First off in short, cloud computing is basically when data is set up to be pulled from anywhere. Like a cloud, the atmosphere gathers particles of precipitation. These particles can be equated to information. The only difference between an actual cloud and a computing cloud is the user has the ability to control the rain. Think of Orb or MobileMe for example. These applications hold your information somewhere off your computer until you request access to them.

What this means to clouds: Since streaming is expected to drop dramatically with AT&T customers, the companies that manage clouds may loose a chunk of business too. When before you could access your files from your smartphone and not think twice about how many mbs it took, now is a totally different story. We went from a world of being cheap with minutes to a world of being cheap with data.

What this means to me: Bullarky!!!!!! Obviously I am fully against it. It's not the fact that I am a new AT&T customer. No my friends, I can openly admit I paid $799 as a first generation iPhone client. My rant is the ethical ties with the data switch. There have been miscellaneous fees on my AT&T phone bill for "Regulatory Cost Recovery Charge". I called customer service to see why and the representative said it was because AT&T wants to improve the network and build more 3G towers. This was fine and I accepted that concept. It was something that all AT&T customers were charged nationwide and at the moment it felt minimal. $2.30 was not a huge sacrifice.

HOWEVER, with today's news, it seems totally unfair to charge this fee and again charge new users per mb for the same network.

Think about it people. Spread the message. Something is very, very wrong.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Yahoo Is A Stinking Weasel

2010-05-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Babe!!!! I just had a freak out! I usually check my emails via phone. Today, some reason, I did it via regular computer. As I reread an email I sent you I noticed some key words were underlined? WTF? Yahoo has infiltrated my personal love to you with their ads!!!!!!!!!!

I am shocked an appalled! Down right flabbergasted. How long has this been going on? Every time I say "I miss you", Yahoo wants me to visit a site of quotable love messages. I tell you I got a promotion, and Yahoo wants me to see how to improve my people skills. Babe, Yahoo has probably even seen our naughty nuptials.

Effective immediately, I am switching to Gmail.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Nobody Puts Steve Jobs In The Corner!

2010-05-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

Now I have always been impressed by Apple and their life changing products. Hell, I have a Macbook that I can't stay off of, an iPhone 3GS that is has become like a third appendage, and as soon as possible, I am getting that damn iPad! My body has become chemically dependent on that beautiful symbolic fruit.

Needless to say, I've been a long standing groupie of Steve Jobs. I've watched him do his thing time and time again on the keynotes. I read about him being demanding. I've even concluded that he accepts nothing but the best. But what really tipped the scale was when I discovered a link on Apple's homepage called "Thoughts on Flash".

What's this? A heart felt apology between the rivals? A compromise? A new release? Oh no my friends, this is far from that. In fact, this is like a whoop your ass and then your mama's ass, and then your mama's mama's ass for even giving birth. Delivered straight from the man himself in Adobe's face. Take that. Nah!

I have probably read the article close to 5 times within the past hour. I am tickled and wide eyed. Not only did Apple produce a well versed article of explanation, they've educated consumers of the future.

Kudos goes to you Mr. Jobs. Nobody puts you in the corner.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

The Tea Was Exceptional

2010-05-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

Earlier this morning I attended a tea party. I experienced many wonderful details, such as the aromatic scent of citrus from the slices put aside for the tea. As I recollect to place these adornments in this blog now, I begin to feel a warming sensation within my heart. What is happening?

I mean, I recall noticing the dill shreds with every bite from my cucumber sandwich. I thought to myself that the little bits of dark greenery against the mild, white palate of bread were an artist's dream. I would love to paint the wholesomeness of that image one day.

Even aside that thought, I remember how ladylike it was that some girls wore derby hats. It was a true calling of femininity from something as simple as a tea party. There was some source of strength felt in the dignity of keeping just the right tilt. A formable lady does have perfect posture. Combining all the memories from this short span of 3 hours, I am definitely feeling a little triply.

In honesty, I am not stone cold. I have just been hiding my inner girl for an extended period of time. In definition, I am usually too logical or analytical to feel sentiment. I fill my day with intellectual tinkers and expeditions to find the perfect book. My mind is usually too full with wonderment and achievement goals that emotion does not fit. Today is a little different. The tea party has cracked me.

I want to thank this tea party, it's hostess, and the other attendees. A simple gathering has made quite an impression.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Released From Porn Archive: Ant's Final Drink

2010-04-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

This is probably my saddest post ever to date. It was originally posted on "Doses of Frog Porn" on 06-04-08. Although Frog Porn no longer exist, it's legacy will continue to carry on. For those who don't know the word porn was a play. It was meant as exposure to ideas and thoughts, not skin. Intelligence and wits were the frog's vices. Anyways, here we are today in the present tense so we will move on. Please enjoy.

Ant's Final Drink

What is it with me and ants? Anyways, it's evening time. I am at home watching TV and enjoying some cold, refreshing sweet tea. This is the kind of tea that can not be canned or duplicated. Only my mother can make it the way she does and I've made it a point to have a drink of it every night before I go to bed.

Well, it's during the commercial break and I role out from under my covers and reach for my glass. I notice a little tiny ant on the rim of the cup consuming the small amount of liquid remnants. To me the creature looked so humble like a solitary forager, probably starving from his adventure, or even a potential seller that is sampling the product. How do ants know how to get back to the hive and tell where the food is? I understand that scents are involved but do you actually think that ants are inefficient enough to follow the millions of miles of unfruitful pheromone trails. So to me, the thought of them leaving chemical breadcrumbs is simply ridiculous.

Back to the ant, I could not kill it. I thought it's life had purpose and meaning and just because he was smaller than me, doesn't mean I have the right to decide his faith. I'm not a Buddhist, I just have Asian tendencies. I wasn't taught this way either. It was just always there. Like the literature piece I am required to read for class, which states, "...a cluster of telltale Chinese behaviors, all those things my mother did to embarrass me- haggling with store owners, pecking her mouth with a toothpick in public, being color-blind to the fact that lemon yellow and pale pink are not good combinations..." I would normally find these types of sayings offensive and stereo typical but (un?)fortunately they really apply to me.

Cup in hand, ant on rim, I walk towards the kitchen door. I open the door to release the ant. Here is where I made the mistake. I was greedy. I had plenty of more tea in the fridge but I insistently wanted MY original cup. I gently tried to convince the ant to go on my finger so I can put him on the ground. He refused. I tried my best to pick him up without swishing him but realized I failed when I placed him down. He did not move. I thought maybe he's just scared. I've done this with plenty of ants before, in a couple of seconds he will bounce back. I wait. I hope. I decide to blow a gentle breath on him to encourage movement. His body flies around like a leaf in the autumn wind.

He's dead.

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

The Smoking Topic of Entitlement

2010-04-08T04:43:00.000-07:00

So, I was watching the news this morning and they were speaking about a controversial bill regarding smoking. From what I heard between bites of my egg sandwich, a group of students were trying to pass a law that would prohibit smoking entirely from school grounds. The argument even included parents that were dropping off their kids for the day. Does the student have the right to breathe "clean" air? Does the parent have the right to choose for themselves what their children are exposed to? Does privacy and ownership of personal space apply in vehicles? Who's entitled to do what and what rights are waved?

This is not a political blog so I'm not going to comment either way; however, I will speak about entitlement. Privileges, grants, and passages are a very, very touchy subject for me. It gets my emotions going and down right pisses me off. My biggest pet peeves are with people that feel they have the right of entitlement while at the same time, have no substance to back it up.

For instance, what about the person who gets upset for not getting a promotion? I mean, they constantly show up for work late, shout and carry on between the cubicles, and even have a routine list of excuses for not getting their work done....It's never their fault but, seriously...they're entitled to that promotion. Right?

I was so flustered that I did what I do best, research. I Googled the word Entitlement. There is actually a huge plethora of articles. For now, I will leave this post at just that. I have cut many ties and ended many relationships because of this entitlement bullshit. I have also bowed my head low when I was the spoiled brat.

Bah humbug for now; smiles and cans of whoop ass for later.

Sincerely Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Released From Porn Archive: Last Cheerio Standing

2010-04-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

I was fishing through some of my old column archives and I stumbled across the post below. This was back in the "Doses of Frog Porn" days. Although the blog has changed a lot, I found that fundamentally as a person, I have not. I still get random giggles from life and search for people with factors I have in common. I seek intelligence, truth, and innovation. Over the next few posts, I will feature some oldies but goodies and twist them up with some current day thoughts. Enjoy!

Last Cheerio Standing

When going through life it is helpful to consider the perspective of others. That way, you avoid tunnel vision and see the entire picture. Well, as I ate breakfast yesterday with my BF, I wondered, how was the world order inside a box of Cheerios? Are they socialist where everything is divided equally? How about democratic? I imagined every possibility except for communism because frankly, I just didn't have it in me to see the goodness of whole grains go bad. Continuing with that vision, I imagined young Billy O just looping it up in the box. He was crowded but he was produced that way so he liked it. Suddenly there was a huge disturbance and the world started to tremble.

"Mama! Is this what they call breakfast?" young Billy shouted. You see, this was a brand new box and inturn, Billy's first breakfast feeding. During childhood, while the boxes are still on the grocery shelf, all little O's were lectured about the facts of life. This includes the heartbreaking phenomenon of breakfast.

"Yes Billy, run down, run down! Get to the bottom son!"

"Mama!" Billy shouted in heartache as he saw his mom go towards the light and carried away with the many others like a tidal wave. The box resealed and everything went back to darkness.

Outside the box, and in the bowl, there was much to delegate. Who goes first? Some of the O's had too much pride and would not soak up a single ounce of milk, and others simply lost hope and decided to go soggy. Scoop by scoop they shifted and tried to outrun the evil silver spoon. Tisk, tisk on you spoon, delivering death one bite at a time. Every dunk of the spoon's head into the cold milk made the Cheerios swivel and swerve until eventually there were none left.

Life may feel one way, but then imagine it from someone else's prospective. Smile and live it up babes :)

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

How To Train Your Bull

2010-03-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

There are many times that I don't understand why I do what I do. For example, I wear the same cycle of clothes and shoes for months on end, even though my closet is overflowing. I have a trunk full of various purses, but stay attached to my black Prada; even on days that it doesn't match. In addition, I have the same hand painted piggy bank from over 10 years ago.

Since my zodiac sign is Taurus, I was once told that I lean towards the material seeking Earth. I spend my days and nights looking for that one opalescent luxury and hold on to it until the end of time. The perfect book, the best meal, even designer candles. I prefer to have a few great items versus hundreds of mediocre crap and go through repetitive alternation of using them.

So now here is my dilemma.....

Advertising. Everywhere I turn there's something new to buy. It's just all too bloody confusing. Did you know there's such a thing as eyelid primer? Like a woman really needs to spackle her lids with cream before applying color. We're not talking about walls or canvases here.

How am I to only search for "the best" when everything is labeled as it? The task is difficult enough. Even while researching products online, Google steers me wrong.

There seems to be no such thing as truth anymore. Everything seems great and I need to buy it. Can someone tell me how to train my bull so it doesn't take over?

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Why Vampires?

2010-03-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

New Moon was released to DVD this week and I decided to give it a shot. Now before you go all team Edward or team Jacob on me, take a moment to breathe. Turn off your debating juices as this is not that type of discussion . Instead we will look at all vampire movies as a whole, and see if we can find a little relation to ourselves in them. I mean, seriously, there has got to be a reason why this phenomenon is so popular. Last time I checked, it was not publicly accepted to drink animal or human blood.

In the stories, vampires are selective of their mates. They may dispose of over 1000 beating hearts before they actually choose one to stay with. In Queen of the Damned, Akasha gorged her way through an entire town full of bodies. However, she favored one soul named Lestat. In real life, this is called dating. It's a phase of trial and error where two people are put together to see what happens.

Back to the stories, in Hollywood vampires are immortal. Throughout their life span they have several experiences. They are educated on the fine arts and history. In Twilight, Edward shows Bella all of the conquests of his past. They even joke about his collection of multicolored graduation caps. Okay. I can see that. This happens in real life, too. People seek lovers that will teach them something and give them new prospectives in life.

Lastly, in the movies, vampires were the ultimate casanovas. They could captivate our desires and turn us into putty. In Bram Stoker's Dracula, Vlad seduces Mina in the town's square. She is sad and as she cries, he turns her tears into diamonds. "I have crossed oceans of time to find you". In real life, we yearn to have someone to take our tears away. Yes folks, this part gets me every time.

So as much as I hate to admit it, there is truth upon the screen. Maybe there is a method to this madness. So for now young Hollywood and band-wagon riders, I;m going to leave you all alone :)

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

Alice in WritingLand

2010-03-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

Writing is a great journey. You could have some fun or loose your mind all in the same place. Simply put, it's just like Alice in Wonderland. There are several hidden tunnels, Mad Hatters, and even dangerous Jabberwockies. Although they don't always appear in the same sequential order, I guarantee that they happen to all writers at some point and time. If you disagree, you have not been brave enough to see how far the rabbit hole really goes.

When you first begin your grand adventure, you are approached with many bottles of "Drink Me". You begin sharing everything with the world and you feel invincible. Never considered is the fact that the writing dimension already has a set of rules. Nope, you are fresh and you refuse to do any research. Steadily you just keep on posting; Over. And. Over. Again. It all turns into a vast collage of verbiage nausea. This step is called Uncanny Sharing.

Afterwards something funny happens. You run out of things to say. You pause and think a little. What happened to the words? Where did they all go? Letters do no conform as they used to and distractions increasingly, well....increase. Vocabulary is at an all time low. This step is called Block.

This is where you stop and take some time. A little homework is finally done. As a cautionary note, one must be warned that this is also the mere beginning of pure emotional chaos. Oh you though Block was hurtful. You have not felt loneliness yet! As just mentioned, research is done. Techniques of writing and rhyme are practiced and you have a elevated sense of entitlement. Subject matters become more developed and topics focus less on the term of self indulgence. Your goal now is to connect with people. The step where all these new requests for knowledge occur is called Rhetoric Academia.

A piece is released. Like beautiful bread-and-butterflies you admire the spectacle. Patiently, you await response. Silence. As I said, 5 tickets for this roller coaster ride. You are saddened and you equate your work to be published in vain. Why does no one else care? The sad truth is that there is an abundance of ideas out there. In the land where the only sense is non-sence, you are going to have to learn to get over yourself. That is truly the only way out of the dark pit of magniloquence.

I am still a prisoner held captive in Wonderland. As a writer, I feel the world in a different way. I know many revisions will go unread; or even if they are read, they will not be viewed as I intended. So be it the passion. So be it the true art of words. For no author graces the Earth unchallenged.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Beezid; Watch and Learn

2010-02-27T16:12:00.000-08:00

So the new net phenomenon is Beezid. It's an online auction where you can get items for pennies on the dollar. Now, before I go any further I am going to say this very clearly. (Loved ones, you know who you are. Friends, you do too) IF I CATCH ANY OF YOU LOGGING INTO THIS SITE, I WILL SLAP YOU!!

I decided to do a little googling on the matter but we all know how that goes. For every person that rants about the scam, there is another raving about it. There's no real way to get the truth anymore. If a Beezid drone spams and comments on enough blogs, the google page rank results will show only favoritism.

The only way to know what really happens is to go straight to the horses mouth. I went to their website and was amused by the numerous amounts of countdowns. There were images of an item, a countdown timer, a price, a bid button, and the name of the last bidder. The rules are, if your name is next to the item after going, going, gone, you get the item for the bid amount shown next to it. Every time a person presses the bid button, the price goes up a penny and their name is displayed. Seems all fine and dandy right? WRONG. The catch to the entire system is in order for you to press the bid button, you have to pay a dollar a pop.

I sat there watching. Smirking. Feeling empathy for all the names. All the names that wanted to win. There was a camera, regularly $239. It was marked at $1.39 with the bidder name "Invincible" next to it. The clock was at 7, 6, 5, 4, then all the sudden the price went to $1.40 and a new name. $1.41 back to Invincible. $1.42 new name. $1.43 Invincible. That bidder was hovering over that item. I felt joy every time the seconds grew closer and defeat every time it reset. I am still currently watching as we speak and the price right now is $5.36. Now if the bid goes up only a penny each bid, how many bidders happened in between? How many dollars were shelled out so people can keep their name next to it?

You do the math :)

Sincerest Ribbits,

Keropi Dark

To The Land Of The Freezing

2009-12-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

I know I have been absent for a while, but I come with exciting news. I'M GOING TO GERMANY! I am utterly ecstatic. Not only for the fact that I am going abroad, but for the fact that I am going to see my sugar bunny. He's been deployed for a few months and I miss him terribly. I was so stoked when he presented the idea for me to meet him while he is on pass.

As you know, I am temperamental tree frog that loves tropical weather. I am happy to rest upon the same leaves, night after night, and stare at the same angle of the moon. However, at this moment I throw caution, the hair curling humidity, and a big middle finger to the wind. I am on my way, across the pond and through the wiener schnitzel.

This shows a rather important point. When you love someone, you will wait night and day for their safe return. Even though your heart misses them, it will not beat any less. Your passion will become twice as strong as before they left and you will feel pride in knowing they are on a mission for our country. Your faith will be enhanced in understanding that God knows all the answers. And if your loved one ever needs you, you will be there.

My countdown has already begun and I have had some help from a good friend in packing. In January, I will be gone :)

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

I Ate The Entire Bag

2009-10-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

They say restriction diets never work. Somehow, no matter how wise “they” seem to be, millions and millions of hard heads try to prove them wrong. I am a proud member of that statistic. For the past two years, I have been yo-yo-ing with the idea to cut the soda, cut the sweets, and cut the carbs. There are many emotions associated with the entire process such as hope, guilt, anger, and sadness. Everything would start off fine and then after a couple weeks I’d end up sneaking a big plate of cookies. One plate led to two, and two eventually led to the whole bag. I was much happier just eating whatever I pleased. Sure there was a little disappointment when my jeans would no longer fit, but not as much as when I felt like a failure for straying from my regimen.

Needless to say, this method of restriction applies in all aspects of life. With the wakeup call of a downward economy, I decided not to shop. At all. For anything. I’ve been doing this for about the same time period of my two year diet. It was easy at first because prior to the cut off, I was a shopaholic. I had enough purses, shoes, and shirts to last for a life time. I was also very good with the care of my clothing and only shopped at designer stores of good quality. The problem is, the size 0 me was the shopaholic. The size 6 current me no longer has anything to work with.

So the plate of cookies begins. I start off by looking for the bargains. This may seem wise in theory but bargains lead to a lot of impulse. If I don’t buy it now, I will never get it at this price again. I don’t think I quite like that item but it’s on sale. Let me get it. Two plates of cookies gone. Oh look at that. How cool. I need that. What? It’s not on sale? But it’s so cool. Ok, maybe just one non-bargain item. Oooh, that one matches also. Not on sale. Crap. Well if I put the sale item back that I didn’t care for in the first place; wait how can I do that? It’s on sale. Let’s just get them all… The entire bag devoured.

Long live the profits of Nabisco and Steve Maden.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Fishy Tales Of Courage

2009-10-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

As much as I love my two quirky frogs, I want everyone know that I also have a fish. He's a baby betta and his name is Fi Pie. He's just your typical, run of the mill sweetie and a very beautiful creature indeed. The only problem I've been having with him is he is absolutely scared of everything. No matter how slowly I approach, he remains skittish.

In efforts to try to break him from his shell, I have tried different things to earn his trust. I've giving him freeze dried worms, a new house, darker lighting, almost anything and everything. Granted, I know from his prospective, I am a giant. My mouth alone is twice his size. I just always had hopes that my beloved pet would love me back.

One day I saw a bubble nest. For those that don't know, a male betta will make a bubble nest when he is really comfortable with his surroundings. The nest is meant to attract females. (He has yet to understand that I am probably the only T&A that he's ever gonna see:) Seeing the nest gave me new hope. I ducked down closer to examine it. "Are you really happy, Fi?" I asked. To my dismay, even though I used my best baby voice, he was anything but hospitable. In fact, he was down right pissed off. His gills flared up and he swam back and forth, making circles around his nest. This guy was definitely not shy any more.

It was at that moment it occurred to me. I got a sudden lightning bolt to the head. When someone threatens your livelihood, no matter how grand the monster may be, you will fight back and defend it with the biggest vengeance.

Yes, you may have heard of David and Goliath but have you really contemplated what it means?

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Put On A Show

2009-10-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

So, at this time, I have to admit that a lot is going on. It feels good to be a spectacle, a real prime time juggler. The audience oohs and aahs while I do my best to balance everything. When I catch the balls they clap and the cycle continues to go on and on. But what about if I drop one? Will they boo?

I've been told not to focus on the what ifs of things, to trust all will be well. I beg for forgiveness, even now as I write, because I should refuse all facets of doubt. I suppose what I am trying to say to everybody is, no matter how courageous, or involved, or challenging something might be.....DO IT! Push harder. Reach higher. Put on a grand ole show. Trust that people love you and want the best for you. Do the same in return.

For everyone who has had sleepless nights, searching for their hopes and dreams, please trust and pray. For yet again the sun will rise, to remind us that there is another day.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Please, No Stones In The Pond!

2009-09-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

To a frog, environment is everything. They need plenty of space to swim, moderate temperatures, little to no current, and a nice place to resort to and hide. So what happens when someone throws a stone in their pond? Or even for arguments sake a big effin' boulder? What was once calm peaceful waters has become a catastrophe of animals scurrying about. Quite frankly, in relationships, rather it's between lovers, or friends, or even light-hearted aquaintences, this type of emotional inertia is something I never fully understood.

In physics, as one object hits another and energy is transferred through, the impact becomes less and less. We can thank Newton's cradle for demonstrating the concept on nearly 4 out of every 10 desks in America. However, when we think about relationships, and emotional transferring, the momentum always becomes greater. Throwing a stone towards someone's beliefs and feelings can quite often be referred to as a train wreck. Why?

The thought keeps circling in my head until I nearly reach nausea from vertigo.

BAH!

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Can a Frog be Franchised?

2009-09-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it; I'm in a crunch. I view luxury and opulence in a whole different way. What was once considered a right to passage for a gourmet meal of steak and shrimp for lunch, has now changed into peanut butter. Down are the days of overdoing it. I am still content and I hold my head down humbly. Wearing the same tee-shirt, jeans, and sandals, I simply clarify and rephrase the words to call it "my signature look." The problem is that the repercussions of past mistakes still haunt me.

I finagled through one job to another, transition to transition, trying to earn higher pay. It still did not help. I started school in hopes to earn a degree. Ironically enough, you have to get yourself in more debt in order to pay it off. I have never been late with my bills; however, for every amount I pay, more than half comes back in interest. From all that I have been hearing, this is simply the American way.

Now I come to my question. Can a frog be franchised? I am thinking about selling my artwork. I used to do it in high school and it helped me buy lunch. 10 years later, I am hoping history will repeat itself. I have the will and the tools to do it. The sad part is, although I love showing my talent, a little piece of me hurts when my creations are no longer mine.

This thought is still in limbo.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

It's Not Easy Being Green

2009-08-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

Frogs definitely have a tendency to become green with envy. I've watched several times as my frogs fought over food they believed to be theirs. I was shopping at one of my favorite stores and I remembered how fashionable all of the sales ladies looked. My green tinted jealousy soaked in. Since it's a rule for the employees to wear and promote store merchandise, logically I thought I could easily cop the hot look too. I was excited. I grabbed arm fulls of clothes and meticulously placed each item so I could carry it all without falling over. I was proud when one of the ladies offered to help take some of the stuff back to the fitting room. "You're going to look fabulous!" I whispered in the mirror as I locked the door.

Before the transformation took place, I was wearing a faded, black, over sized tee and jeans. The jeans had whisker lines on the thighs and the bottoms were tattered from dragging on the floor. Lord knew I certainly needed a change. I took off my disgusting old shell and began trying on my new skin. The first outfit, ehhh, not so much. It is obvious that trendy, "skinny" jeans are not for short, curvy people. Not only mentioning the muffin top, but also the fact that they started to tapper in the left over bunches of clothing that ran past my feet, I looked simply ridiculous. I analyzed the shirt which had a weird gap under the arms, however, could not button around the stomach. This was a fail. No worries. I had about 20 other things to try.

By the time I was done, only one shirt fit. Typically in this type of situation, I would just mumble out of the store empty handed. I don't like waiting in line for twenty minutes just to purchase one item. As one of my favorite friends always said, "Go big or go home." Something was different about this time. Perhaps I wanted to put myself through the self pity. I was so sad only to purchase one measly item. For what ever reason, I waited in line.

As it finally became my turn to check out, I looked at the cashier. She was gorgeous. She had long, thick hair slicked back in a ponytail. Her face was flawless and appeared only to be featuring eyeliner, mascara, and hot pink lip gloss. I shrugged in comparison to mine that is continuously caked with concealer to hide all the breakouts. What was the worst of it all was the fact that she had on the jeans I wanted so badly. That tall Greek godess stole my skinnies! I was outraged but politely smiled as she called me to the register. After all, it wasn't her fault.

While I handed her my intended purchase she paused. She took a deep breath in and said, "Oh my gosh! I wanted this shirt so bad but it look horrible on me. It's so cute! You're gonna love it." I smiled as I calculated exactly what she said. I decided yes, yes I will LOVE it. Only me not you. No more envy. It was that precise moment, I had something all of my own.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Living in Harmony

2009-08-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

The previous week flew by pretty quickly. I worked. I assisted a friend in creating her own website. I finished my school assignments. I partied. I got lost. I also even downloaded a ton of new software to use on my father's computer. I am mentally beat. I look back and remember a short time on Friday when I stole a selfish moment for myself. I was sitting at my desk at work staring off into space. I would look at all my inadament objects and wished I could be as simple as them. It's not that life was completely complicated; it was just busy. One of the problems with people being overly busy is it's hard to understand the entire story. It's just as equally hard to have as much empathy as one would if they were not busy.

Such was the story of my life, however. I come across so many different personalities on a daily basis. I witnessed many times when the different personalities didn't mesh. I was wishing for a change within my selfish moment. Still sitting at my desk, I turned my head and looked at my frog tank. It was a quaint little ecosystem. Two frogs, one snail, gravel, and some bamboo, all living in harmony. The ecosystem would fail without one of the elements. Take away one frog, the other would die of loneliness. Take away the snail and things would be messy. They all could not breath without the bamboo.

Then it hit me. I kept analyzing how every element was purely different from the other but still part of the same ecosystem. I wondered, how do I get my world within that harmony? All I can do now upon my reflection is ask everyone to consider the ecosystem.

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark

Life's Comedies

2009-08-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love life's comedies; but I am always left wondering, why me? Now I'm not saying why me in a negative context but more upon the element of surprise. Why am I so blessed to face these challenges, learn from them, and later laugh? I may never really know but the least I can do is write about it.

On Friday after work, I spent about 4 hours grueling over some code for my Java 1 class. I have been picking away at this code for about a week and I just could not understand why it wasn't working. My major disadvantage to school is I simply do not have the time or mental capacity to read all of the course material. I work a full time job where my main duty throughout the entire day involves non-stop reading and typing of email. After 8 hours, I just don't have it in me to read anymore. Many times I simply skim the text or read only the first and last sentence of all the paragraphs. This, of course, is not the smartest thing to do while trying to obtain an education but it's gotten my by successfully so far. Besides if I ever get anything less than a B, I'll change my methods. Anyways, I was coming close to the submission deadline and the Java application I was trying to make just wasn't working. I stopped. I closed my eyes. I prayed. I opened the book and attempted to search for the answer. This was a pointless feat. Reading 1 section out of 12 chapters of text that is supposed to be read in sequence will never equate to anything. All of the sudden while flipping pages I saw a minor example. I wrote my proposed code and compiled it. It viewed with zero errors. I went to run the application but it would not run. @$&*!!!!!! I closed my eyes again, opened, and reviewed. Oh! That! I removed four letters from my code and tried the compile again. Zero errors. I ran it. My heart nearly stopped as it opened and displayed just as expected. I typed in some test data and it worked like a charm. I was relieved. It was late and I retired to bed. Didn't even bother taking a shower.

On Saturday morning, I was happy to come across some shenanigans. Right when I woke up, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. This is where I saw a funny drama. I took pictures to document the event. If you don't get it, I feel sorry for you :)

Sincerest Ribbits,
Keropi Dark